"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

    "Qualifications: No education or experience."

    "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

    "My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

    "Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."

    "Fired because I fought for lower pay."

    "Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6’5" .

    " "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

    "Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."

    "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word ’paranoia.’ I prefer to elaborate privately."

    不应有的幽默

    "Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."

    "Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)

    "But wait...there’s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
    
    "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

    "My fortune cookie said, ’Your next interview will result in a job’-and I like your company in particular."

    "Title: Another resume from the ’Profiles in Excellence’series."

    "Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."

    "Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."

    "Let’s meet so you can ’ooh’ and ’ahh’ over my experience."